The first part is here😉
Carol began to realise just how difficult it was to create a personal advert. And it was no use looking to other ads for guidance, because everything she had seen was awful! She considered ‘Dave’s’ idea of a mixture of table and freeform… Right then smart arse, let’s see if I can come up with something that will meet your exacting standards!
“Hello Dave, yes Siouxsie is in homage to The Banshees – are you a fan? And Hattie Jacques was a bit of a goer in her day – never heard she was into spanking though! But maybe you know differently?
Anyway, yes, I think my ad could do with a revamp and you were correct I’d had no response to it – I’ve had another go based on your (now revised) template – let me know what you think.
‘ME
Screen name: Ms Siouxsie
Gender: female
Age: 38
Sub or Dom: Sub
Relationship status: single
Location: Winchester, England
YOU
Gender: Male
Age range: 38+
Sub or Dom: Dom
Relationship sought: up for discussion – anything is possible with the right man.
Location: preferably within 50 miles of Winchester
Background blurb:
Circumstances mean I am currently without a dom to administer the punishment I so richly deserve. Are you naturally dominant? Do you enjoy OTK spanking and other forms of CP? If so you may be of some use to me and I’d like to hear from you.’
I think this is an improvement. I’m also happy to have a look at any changes you’ve made to your ad.
Ms S”
Dave read through ‘Siouxsie’s’ message from top to bottom for the third time. It was surely an improvement, and while he quite liked the way the essential facts were laid out nice and clearly, the downside was that although the information was there it had quite a cold and impersonal feel. And he certainly bridled at the notion of ‘being of some use’ to anyone! ‘I need to have ‘words’ with that madam’ he caught himself thinking, automatically dropping into his dominant mindset. Perhaps there was a possibility for the two of them to get together? Pushing the thought to the back of his mind, he set about completing a fresh ad of his own, using his formatted template.
ME
Screen name: Dave68
Gender: Male
Age:49
Sub or Dom: Dom
Relationship status: separated
Location: Reading, England
YOU
Gender:female
Age range:30 – 50
Sub or Dom:sub
Relationship sought: friend, part-time
Location: I cannot accommodate, so within an hour or so drive of Reading.
Background blurb:
I don’t have too much experience, but I have been fantasising about spanking for as long as I can remember. I have spanked my wife but she really wasn’t into it all that much. I would really like to give the cane and belt to someone if they will let me.
Dave sat back and read through his new advert once again. Nodding to himself with satisfaction, he pasted it into a reply message and added:
“This method seems to work quite well, although I think there are still one or two possible improvements that you might like to make to your text. Please have a look at my new version, and then we can compare notes.
I quite liked The Banshees but always preferred The Clash and The Pistols. I bet Hattie Jacques was a ‘goer’ as you so delicately put it and I do seem to recall Sid James slapping her on the arse in at least one film – so you never know…….!
Dave”
Carol smiled when she read his reply – torn between amusement and exasperation. So her ad still didn’t suit him? Yet he seemed to think his was now satisfactory!
She began to compose her reply.
“Hi Dave,
Do you think this format is working? I thought it was, but now I’m not so sure. For example, what precisely does ‘friend, part-time’ mean? One generally doesn’t let ones friends spank ones backside! So I suppose that needs to be explained a bit more fully. Are you looking for someone who is also a novice with a cane and belt, or do you want someone with a bit of experience who can show/tell you what to do; or do you not mind either way? I happen to be particularly fond of both these implements.
Please let me know what you, with your vast experience, think needs to be changed with my ad? I’m genuinely interested, and don’t worry, I generally have my tongue firmly in my cheek – after all cheekiness is part of my make up
The Clash eh? Love them! Never a big fan of the Sex Pistols though. And as for Sid James, well he may have been a bit wrinkly but he always had a lovely smile and a real twinkle in his eye!
Ms S”
Dave found himself beginning to warm to this woman. Her true character was slowly emerging from the conceited persona that her original personal ad had created. She was certainly forthright, but now that her sense of humour had a chance to shine through, her words took on a new meaning. He began to recognise the problem with ‘filling in a form’ to create an ad, it helped to ensure that important detail was clearly shown, but the key problem of showing a person’s personality was still there. He went out for a walk in the spring sunshine to ponder.
When he returned he thought he would up the game a little (just to test the water, you understand) and so replied,
“Good Afternoon Ms S,
Probably best to make sure your cheekiness doesn’t result in a very sore bottom from a very frustrated dom! Be aware that your obvious preference for wrinkly older men may not be enough to save you!
You requested a little more detail about your last ad. Well here goes – you want a man who is naturally dominant as you may have ‘some use for him’. How many doms do you actually know? Do you know any who are likely to respond to such a ‘bossy’ tone? You’re now coming across like Monica from ‘Friends’ – fine if you’ve narrowed the dom population down to the ones who want to be nagged and hen pecked – but in my experience there aren’t too many of them around!
If you don’t want to sound too submissive straight off, then at least try a conciliatory stance, or ‘meet him half way’.
On the other hand, some of your language is spot on and at least you know you are very definitely deserving of punishment (even if it sounds like it’s long overdue).
I’m going to have another stab at re-writing mine. I’ll send it along for your forensic analysis when I’ve finished.
Dave”
His hand hovered over the ‘x’ key. No, he wouldn’t put a kiss at the end. He was, after all, far too macho for such nonsense!
When her IM pinged, Carol was surprised that her hand flew to read the message. She tried her best to be annoyed but the smile kept breaking through. So, he’d now compared her to Hattie Jacques and Monica Geller – at least he wasn’t hung up on size – two ladies at more extreme ends of that particular spectrum it would have been difficult to find! She was still considering her response when another ‘ping’ heralded the arrival of a new message from Dave68:
“Hi. I am a 49yr old male dominant from Reading. I am presently still married, but separated. I have limited experience but know that spanking is the thing that is missing from my life. I am keen to extend my experience with new implements, but always within the limits set by my partner. I would like to meet a younger woman who is interested in receiving spankings, although at this time I am not looking for a full-time relationship. Apart from applying discipline where it will do the most good, I am keen to find a person with whom I can share good conversation, and a laugh. I cannot accommodate, and so if you live within reasonable driving distance I would love to hear from you.”
‘Now that,’ she thought, ‘is much better.’
“Hi Dave, that’s a lot better – and I’m sure it will illicit some positive responses. Let me know what you think of my latest effort (below). I shall try to pass over/ignore the fact that you’re obviously dying to get your ‘firm hand on my naughty bottom’ – although the idea is not altogether anathema to me! (bold hussy, aren’t I?)
‘Hi, I’m a 38year old submissive, currently live in Winchester. I am looking for an older, preferably experienced, dom. Your dominance will be as natural to you and part of your personality as my submissive side is to me. Regrettably my behaviour can often leave a lot to be desired. I have on occasion been known to be very cheeky, almost bordering on rude. Others have attempted to correct these undesirable character flaws but to date no one has succeeded. If you have a way with impertinent wenches but are not intimidated by one who has a brain and a life of her own then please get in touch. I’m not able to travel but am happy to accommodate.’
She wanted to see what he’d make of that!
‘Well,’ thought Dave, ‘I’d reply!’ Dave read it through again. ‘Does she actually mean what I am understanding here? I think she does, you know!’ He sat upright in his chair, a thrill of expectancy running through him. Preparing to type, he had a quick word with himself. ‘Careful, old boy. Gently does it, don’t screw it up now!’
“Hi Siouxsie,
I am very pleased to hear that you approve of my latest effort. I moved away from the idea of a formal layout because it seemed so impersonal, but it did help me to get all the important details included into an ad that made sense. And, for what it’s worth, I feel sufficiently drawn to ‘the new you’ that I would want to reply.
Speaking of which, would it be too impertinent of me to ask if you really meant to suggest that you would not object to me making a proposal as to the disposition of you naughty rump and my knee? Because, if that was to be the case, I would rather like to move that notion forward a little by suggesting that we get together for a coffee in order to discuss the proposal in more detail. No firm committments, obviously, but it would be nice to meet you, if only for some very interesting conversation. I hope you don’t mind my asking?
Very best wishes,
Dave.”
This time he typed several xxx’s under his name, but it didn’t feel right and he promptly deleted two of them before hitting ‘Send’. He sat back, realising his heart was pounding quite firmly against his chest.
Several seconds later, Carol read through his IM and a large grin broke on her face. With a distantly remembered tune circling in her head, she began to type:
“Hi Sir Dave, ……………”
I was tired of my lady
We’d been together too long
Like a worn-out recording
Of a favorite song
So while she lay there sleeping
I read the paper in bed
And in the personal columns
There was this letter I read
“If you like Pina Coladas
And getting caught in the rain
If you’re not into yoga
If you have half a brain
If you’d like making love at midnight
In the dunes on the Cape
Then I’m the love that you’ve looked for
Write to me and escape.”
I didn’t think about my lady
I know that sounds kind of mean
But me and my old lady
Have fallen into the same old dull routine
So I wrote to the paper
Took out a personal ad
And though I’m nobody’s poet
I thought it wasn’t half bad
“Yes I like Pina Coladas
And getting caught in the rain
I’m not much into health food
I am into champagne
I’ve got to meet you by tomorrow noon
And cut through all this red-tape
At a bar called O’Malley’s
Where we’ll plan our escape.”
So I waited with high hopes
And she walked in the place
I knew her smile in an instant
I knew the curve of her face
It was my own lovely lady
And she said, “Oh it’s you.”
Then we laughed for a moment
And I said, “I never knew.”
That you like Pina Coladas
Getting caught in the rain
And the feel of the ocean
And the taste of champagne
If you’d like making love at midnight
In the dunes of the Cape
You’re the lady I’ve looked for
Come with me and escape
