Online Spanking Dating Still Works: Here’s my experience

Her email arrived out of the blue. My personal ad had been up on that infamous dating site (the one for Finding Adults who want to be Friends?) for around nine months with no responses at all. I had been reasonably active, and had revised my personal quite a few times as I realised that the bog-standard ads are rubbish templates. And I had tried contacting quite a few women who appeared to be more or less compatible, with hardly a reply. My complicating factor being that I am married and aim to remain so, and my own preference is to seek what I need outside of the marriage rather than divorce the woman I care about in most other ways. Some people understand my thinking and it does not bother them, but for many more it is a major hurdle.

About Her

She turned out to be a Macmillan nurse whose own marriage had failed a year or two prior, and who was now hoping to begin life afresh and indulge a few of those secret desires that had remained unfulfilled for years. I don’t remember the precise details of what she had written in her own ad, but it did not include spanking and so my expectations were fairly minimal. She was at least ready to be experimental, and of the ‘try anything once’ school of thought.

We emailed to and fro for a number of weeks, exploring each others desires and expectations, and it all went quite well. I followed the golden rule of allowing her to set the pace, despite my inner desire to meet this woman in person at the earliest opportunity. I find I get a ‘feel’ for people fairly quickly when they are placed in front of me, but written descriptions and explanations can be very misleading at times, even though the other person is trying to be honest and open about everything.

Anyway, before long I had to be away on business in any case, and so I mentioned that I would not be too far away and that maybe she would like a ‘no strings’ meeting, even if just to say ‘Hi’ over a drink. She agreed readily, suggesting that she had been thinking along these lines herself but hadn’t quite got around to raising it. We arranged to meet for a meal at the Yorkshire restaurant where I was staying, primarily because I had no clue about the region.

The Meeting

On arrival at my internet booked hotel I was dismayed to discover that their idea of a restaurant was a couple of tables set to one side of a tiny bar. Hardly the discreet meeting place I had in mind! Not having exchanged phone numbers meant that there was no way for me to contact her, and so there was nothing for it but to await her arrival and hope that she would understand. I planned to explain the situation, and then organise a fresh meeting at a location of her choice.

She duly arrived, having had similar difficulty to me in finding the place I was staying (it was physically signed something completely different to the advertised name!). Appearing remarkably unruffled by meeting a strange man for the first time, she accepted my embarrassed explanations in good spirit. Thinking for a moment or two, she proposed that I follow her back to her place where she would rustle up some food, and we could do our talking there.

Now this sort of thing is highly irregular, and departs from the recognised way of doing things significantly. As a male, we tend to think of ourselves as big and strong and able to take care of ourselves, but this woman could just as easily have led me into a trap where I was to be robbed, or whatever. But for a woman to make the proposal she did took a fair dose of courage, or was it foolhardiness? As I got to know her better it became apparent that she was unusual in that she made her decisions early, and then stuck to them unless there was a very clear reason to change them. It seems she had already decided that I was one of the good guys before ever agreeing to meet. Fair play.


There followed an interesting drive through rural Yorkshire cobbled streets, following a woman who drove confidently, and quickly! We duly arrived outside the tiny end-of-terrace one bedroom house she rented, and I was ushered into a small but cosy living room with a coal fire keeping the entire house snug and warm. She kissed me, in the ordinary way you kiss someone you have known for years, and proposed a quick meal which suited my palate admirably. Red wine was her tipple –  she was quite a wine buff and taught me a lot – and within minutes I was at home in front of the fire while she busied herself in the tiny kitchen. I did offer to help, but it was clear that to do so would have required me to stand outside the kitchen door and reach in from there!

We ate, and drank, and I have never been made quite so comfortable, within such a short space of time, before or since. Conversation turned towards the reason we had met, and we reiterated what we had discussed in email, ensuring that we each understood the desires of the other. She had never been spanked, but was intrigued. And so we agreed that we would let her try, with me taking a cautious approach and being sensitive to the distinct possibility that she would hate it.

Ummm… And Now?

I suddenly realised that, with all the problems of earlier, I had not given the first thought to how we should proceed! But a basic plan formed quickly in my mind, and I assumed my mock authoritarian role.

Having barely met, it was remarkably difficult to organise that first physical contact. The basic scenario I dreamed up was that she had been ‘captured’, and that she would have to be interrogated and ‘tortured’ for information. Obviously my method of torture was for me to  give her a spanking, and the scenario allowed for her to ‘crack’ quickly if she was averse to a warm backside, or to ‘hold out’ for as long as she was enjoying being spanked.

I began by ordering her to stand facing the fire, with her arms outspread to either end of the mantlepiece. This gave me freedom to ‘frisk’ her, politely at first, standing close behind her so that we could each feel the other’s body warmth. After a moment or two I felt some of the tension relax from her, and this gave me the confidence to move things on a little. I ordered her to spread her feet, and then landed a couple of spanks on the seat of her skirt in order to underline my authority and make her spread them wider. I informed her that I ‘was not satisfied’, and that I was going to have to conduct a more intimate ‘body search’. By verbally informing her of what I planned to do, it gave her the opportunity to object (for real) prior to any unwelcome action being taken, and I continued in this way for the entire roleplay.

Search And Find

The intimate body search gave the opportunity to explore her body thoroughly, becoming gradually more intimate with her breasts, buttocks, and between her thighs. At first I explored through her clothes, and then reaching beneath top and skirt, and eventually removing those items. Periodically I quizzed her about where ‘it’ was hidden (neither of us having any idea about  what ‘it’ actually was!), and applying some quite firm spanks to her bottom in an effort to get her to ‘talk’. Once ‘the bad guy’ had finished spanking her, ‘the good guy’ would rub her bottom in order to assuage the stinging and try sweet talking her.

In due course her bra was removed in order to search her breasts thoroughly, very thoroughly. And finally her knickers were slipped down over her bottom in order to apply some sharp stinging slaps. When she still refused to talk, thus signalling acceptance of how things were progressing, her extremely moist vulva was explored until her knees began to buckle and we retired to the settee for a more in-depth interview.

After a rest, glass of wine, and a discussion about how we felt, I decided it was past time that she was put across my knee for a proper spanking. Even though this was an introductory session for her, I gave her a taste of every type and severity of spanking, and whenever I felt her bottom begin to shy away I paused to massage the stinging away, before giving her a few more.

After the spanking, things took their natural course, as things do between two people who are deeply turned on and feel a connection with each other. I didn’t stay that night, feeling that she needed some space to absorb the evenings events. But I stayed overnight many other times, having introduced her to a number of spanking implements, and indulged in her long-held desire for anal intercourse.

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