I think that most people are able to grasp the concept that there are people who want to be spanked, even if they can’t understand why it might be desirable. Many non-spankos will promptly dismiss us as ‘sick’, without ever really trying to empathise, and yet those same people have any number of ‘strange desires’ of their own. “Ah yes,” they say, “but at least my fetish for roll-top sweaters doesn’t involve hurting people, or being hurt!”. And thereby demonstrating their absolute lack of understanding.
Some people do enjoy being hurt, or the infliction of pain.
They are neatly labelled Masochists and Sadists. But spanking is not about the enjoyment of pain, although some pain may be involved, and some S&M folk may enjoy spanking as part of their pain scene. Spanking, in its purest sense, is about the application of palm to (usually) bare bottom, and within an Authoritarian / subordinate scenario.
Spanking is normally applied as a punishment, and these days restricted to parent / child in most countries, with even this limited use becoming increasingly restricted by law. Corporal Punishment (CP) is the broader term which includes spanking, but also involves the use of implements such as, paddle, cane, whip and birch. CP has been extensively used by most countries in the past, and still is in specific parts of the world. Human rights campaigners consider its use to be degrading and humiliating, particularly for adults, and there is no doubt that it is, deliberately so.
Meanwhile, given this is a blog concerning erotic spanking in all its forms, I wanted to consider the possibility that physical discipline might be used as a form of punishment, rather than as a deliberately erotic bit of fun between two consenting adults.
There are two key points to consider.
- One, how can one use a spanking to discipline (in the real sense) a person who enjoys it?
- And Two, who has the right to stand as judge, jury and executioner over another?
In my opinion, the first is relatively easy to answer. The person being spanked gets spanked no matter what the reason, however, the reason for it is entirely different and it is the effect on the person’s mental furniture that makes all the difference. She (for the sake of example) is acutely aware that she has done something that has caused her spanker to be sufficiently upset with her to cause ‘a punishment’. Any partnership works hard to exist in harmony with each other, and when either has caused a problem they feel bad about it and do whatever they can to remedy the situation. Administering and accepting physical discipline can, in the right circumstances, demonstrate that the wrong has been righted. The ‘right circumstances’ being that both parties agree that such an event is the correct way to deal with the issue.
Speaking as a person expected to be the judge, jury and executioner, I am extremely uncomfortable in assuming this role. I am not sufficiently arrogant to consider myself superior to my partner, even though she may well confer such superiority upon me. In my world we are equal. I have, in the past, tested these murky waters and I did not enjoy it one tiny bit. Physically, the punishment event had the expected effect on me, powerfully so, but mentally I had significant problems in coming to terms with what was expected of me, and then substantial guilt over the fact that my body had betrayed me. It enjoyed itself considerably, without my consent. The same can be said for the person receiving the punishment, her body may well react to what would otherwise be a strong sexual stimulus, even though her mental furniture is arranged very differently.
Before I start getting ‘letters from annoyed viewers’, I need to explain that I am aware of a sub-set of people who employ Domestic Discipline. For these couples, there is an over-arching rule that one of the pair is in overall command, and has the right and responsibility to enforce discipline over the other, up to and including the use of corporal punishment. For this to work, the pair needs to have a detailed formal agreement in place that specifies all aspects of their life, what is and is not part of the agreement, and any hard limits. Personally I have a deal of difficulty in coming to terms with this dynamic, and understanding how it can work, but I expect it is a case of ‘starting from the right place’, and that is somewhere I choose not to go.
Given that my core fetish is centred in the enjoyment of our mutual head-spaces, as opposed to the physical, anything that disrupts my preferred mental furniture is not usually a good thing, and assuming what feels to me to be an undeserved role is uncomfortable. So, ‘spanking for pleasure’ for me please, and let’s deal with disharmony in other ways.