There are dozens of flippant answers to that question, ranging from ‘powerful’ to ‘abusive’. For people who are not driven by a fetish, it is completely impossible to understand why anyone would want to ‘hit’ a woman. And on the other side of the coin, why would a woman want to be’hit’? Surely these people must be deranged! Even for people who indulge a different fetish, it is very difficult for them to understand the motivation behind other fetishes. The only advantage they have is that they don’t really understand their own motivations, rather they just accept that it is so, and assume that the same logic must apply to other fetishes.
I came to terms with my own ‘peculiar’ thoughts and desires a long time ago. I understood that this innate desire to spank a girl’s bottom was permanently etched into my psyche, but I never expected it to be realised. The best I ever hoped for was that I might meet a girl was would tolerate my abuse of her backside in order to please me. But having discovered that there seems to be an equal number of women who actively want to have their bottoms spanked, the natural balance of life has been restored for me.
That is not to say that I am entirely comfortable in my own skin.
Let’s say I have been contacted by a woman who knows that I am interested in spanking. She explains that she has had her own desires since childhood (this is always the case with a fetish although it may not have been recognised in the early years). An extended discourse follows in which we each describe the specifics of our personal preferences. We seem to get on well, and relative geography makes meeting possible. In due course, we meet, we ‘play’, we have a great time and part company with our inner needs thoroughly explored and sated. Everything is rosey, right?
Wrong. I am a strong believer in the natural balance of life, and from experience I know that for every high, there is an equal and opposite down. Immediately following the spanking event, there is a state of euphoria in which I reflect on the recent events and enjoy the memories of every detail. But then, more usually the following day, when my thoughts return to the spanking, I am struck by uncertainty over whether she really enjoyed it. Was I too harsh? She said she liked ‘that’, but was that just to please me? Did I force her into accepting something she didn’t really want to do? And so on.
I feel a sense of disgust at myself for having indulged my desires.
And apparently, she is struck by a ‘down’ of the equal and opposite set of thoughts.
Obviously good communication is crucial to alleviate this state, and the worst of the ‘thoughts’ can be assuaged by strong and continued assurances from the other party. Assuming the liaison continues, we each gradually become more confident that we are indeed satisfying the needs of the other, as well as our own, and that what we do is not only enjoyed but also encouraged by the other.
So everything is well. And then, when you meet her again the following week, the unveiling of her bottom reveals deep bruising that *I* inflicted on her the previous week. I caned her, hard. This is the moment I dread most, and it constantly catches me unawares. She loved receiving the ‘punishment’ I meted out, and maybe wanted even more. But I am washed with a strong sense of self-loathing as I view the damage I have done to her pristine skin.
The answer to the question then, is complex. ‘Fantastic’, I might reply, but if I am being honest I will counter that remark with an attempt to explain that it is more a case of having a deep inner hunger temporarily satisfied.
Will I do it again, if given the opportunity? You bet your ass!